This page is dedicated in loving memory of our dear Mother Renee. Born Renee Susan Julien, daughter of Raymond & Fay Julien 9/6/45. Mom had an older sister Rochelle. Sadly at age 13, Mom lost her Father Raymond. She always vowed to take care of her own mother. Grandma Fay re-married a wonderful man Arthur Blacksin. Arthur would be the step-dad, father figure for our mother then. This is her story.
Mom met Dad Irwin when she was just 13 at a family gathering. Dad at the time was 18 and dating mom's cousin. Mom would tell us this story as we were older. Dad saw our mother and said "I'm going to marry her one day". Though 5 years apart, time would not separate the love that would transpire in the years to come.
On 12/12/65, our parents Irwin & Renee got married. Mom was a beautiful bride. She was 20 years old at the time. On 9/7/66, mom gave birth to her first child. Our parents named Ronald after Mom's Dad Raymond. As our tradition is as follows, we name after the deceased, using their first initial of their name.
On 10/7/69, Mom gave birth to her second child, Eric. Eric was named after our grandmother's sister Esther. Mom was so happy & proud.
On 3/8/72, mom gave birth to a daughter, she named me Melissa after my grandma's brother Manny who passed on some years before. Mom had 3 C section babies and was fulfilled now that she her boys and a girl.
Through the years mom stayed home with all of us while dad worked. She was our rock, our confidant, and above all there for us with unconditional love anyone could ask for. She took me to dancing school for years, and we had our Saturday breakfasts out together. She would rotate weeks and then take my brothers to breakfast as well.
In early 1985, mom fell very ill at her job where she worked in a nursing home. There was a talent show and she was in it with her co-workers. She had difficulty breathing and ultimately passed out. She went through exploratory surgery, and it was finally deternined that she had Carcinoid Syndrome. In the early 80's no one knew what it was and was not a cancer that was easily diagnosed as it would be if it were today.
She lived it with, by taking injections to stop the tumors from growing in her liver. She was alright, and continued to be the driving force in our family. She would put on make-up, and dress nicely and told us she may have cancer but the cancer would never get her. She won Mother of the year, when I was a kid & donated all the prizes she won to people in need.
In 1989, our family had to move to Brooklyn where our grandma Fay lived. by now her second husband Arthur had passed on, and she was ill. I had one year left of High School & our family had to relocate to Brooklyn to live closer to her. We moved, and at the time, I completed HS and my brothers were both alright. Ron was working for a major law firm and Eric was in College. I graduated HS in 1990.
In 1992, I fell ill and went to the doctor my mom was using just for a quick check-up. The doctor told me to lay down and just give me a check-up. I had been dizzy and he told me I had Vertigo. Upon me laying down on the table, he asked me if I was pregnant? I was 20 at this time and I said no. My mother was standing in the doorway when her ears fell victim to these words "I feel a mass" She was beside herself and I layed there confused and had no idea what this all meant.
On 4/13/92, I had a tumor removed on my right ovary, it was 20lbs & caused so much damage that the right ovary was forced to be removed as it was not functioning.
My parents awaited the news while my tests were being run in pathology to deternine if I had cancer. My grandma Fay was on the same floor as I was but around the corner. Both of our fates were in the hands of God and the doctor's.
My mother stood by me everyday and everynight, while I was in the hospital with my father. The results came in and the doctor's told us I had no cancer at all. However my grandmother Fay had colon cancer. To say the least we were all devastated. When I was able to get around, my father wheeled my wheelchair to my grandma's room, and I looked at her and I said "I'm so sorry grandma, I wish it were me", I recall crying so badly that my mother told my father to please take me back to my room and ask for a nurse. I was medicated and fell asleep.
On 12/11/93, Grandma Fay passed away in the hospital. She was reunited with her husband and her daughter Rochelle, who died at age 40. My mother was devastated and cried everyday of her life. She mourned her as she mourned her sister when she passed.
My parents and brothers moved to PA in 1994 to leave NYC to try to build a new life somewhere else. I stayed in NYC as I was married at the time and had a full time job. However, more sadness and loss our mother would endure.
In 8/96, our other grandma, Dad's mom, Lillie passed away suddenly. Mom was so hurt. She stood by me as I cried and was there for me. Mom continued to be there for everyone and held the family together.
Mom fell in her room in 1999, she had a mini stroke. She went to a nursing facility for rehab. No outside meds were permitted but she was going to be released as she was doing so well. We all visited her and supported her. I saw her on 10/11/99, as it was Columbus Day and I had the day off work. I drove to PA and we had a great visit. I told her I would see her on Friday. I kissed her, and I hugged her, when my dad came in for his visit. I'd never be prepared in my wildest dreams that visit would be my last.
The very next morning on Tuesday 10/12/99, the nursing facility called me in my home in Brooklyn at 6am to advise me that my mother had no pulse. I was shocked and dismayed. I told them that they better find one. They said that they cannot take patients to a hospital without a pulse. I was so scared, I panicked and I hung up on the them. Shaking and crying I called my Dad in PA. My brothers were living there and they were aware there was no pulse and they sounded equally panicky. I had another call and it was the nursing facility, about 20 minutes after their inital call to me this call would be the call that would forever be frozen in my mind.
"We are so sorry, your mother expired".............................I fell on the floor and screamed so loud, I thought the police would come. I asked them why???? why didn't you try to save her??? I cried and I cried to no ends, as she was fine just one day before. I asked them why are you calling me? They told me on her files that I was listed as next of kin. I then called my dad. He answered the phone and said he and Eric were on their way to the nursing facility. Dad was not aware mom passed. I told him like this, "Daddy, I'm so so so sorry, mommy is gone, she died"...... I will never ever forget his screams on the phone as it burned my ears. "Are you kidding me"?? he screamed and he cried that so many times. My brothers were screaming and crying oh no oh no..................I could hear them and all I could do was sob. I knew life without mom would forever be changed and that a piece of me died along with her that day.
Her funeral was on 10/14/99, and up until the moment I found out she died, I truly did not think she was in the casket. I'm honest here when I say I thought she was still in PA. My thoughts were instantly returned to reality when the casket was opened, and our beautiful mother lay there, so peaceful, so lovely and calm. I stared and I stared, I was in utter shock to see her this way, and thought this was a nightmare. A nightmare come true.
She was only 54 & had so much more of life to endure. She would never physically be here when I gave birth to her granddaughter Rena. I named her directly after Renee, meaning re-birth and gave Rena a middle name Hope.
Losing Mom since 10/12/99 has been, will forever be a daily challenge as no one in our family accepts it, as we miss her terribly. She was everyone's friend, a wonderful person, great sense of humor, she loved life, she loved her family, and above all she was very spiritual.
On 9/1/06, mom would be reunited with the love of her life, dad passed away suddenly. I can only imagine the reunion they shared along with all the other loved ones. Forever missed, eternally loved, Mommy, Renee, Grandma, call her any of those names, they all sum up to one indivdual Mom. We will forever love you, and forever carry your legacy of life, love, wisdom, common sense, respect & unconditional love.
It is with a very heavy heart that this is written, Mommy you are an Angel. We love you and we will treasure your memory forever. God Bless You Mommy and always watch over us, as one day we will be with you. Until then, dear Mother, God Bless You.
